Have you ever been upset that your work went unnoticed or underappreciated?
What you are feeling there is the human need for validation. And without validation, motivation and collaboration can suffer.
Validation is the process of validating a person’s feelings and thoughts. It can be done by asking questions, listening to their story, and then giving your opinion on it.
Using validation as a tool can improve work culture and create productive and collaborative teams.
1: Ask Questions and Questions help you to engage with the person proposing an idea and can help you to understand whether or not the person understands the idea and how it could be implemented.
To start showing you are open to a conversation, ask engaging questions, preferably with curiosity and without judgment.
2: Listen to Their Story Simon Sinek, one of my favorite authors, says people don’t buy what you sell, they buy why you sell it. The why is a person’s story.
When someone tells their story, you want to validate them to feel comfortable and heard. By listening attentively and providing constructive feedback, we can help our friends, family members, or colleagues feel appreciated and understood.
3: Give Your Feedback When someone seeks feedback, it is a gracious thing to do. Feedback should be constructive and actionable. The best feedback is specific so that the person can understand and improve their behavior. It is also important to give feedback often so that the person can become more aware of their actions and how they impact others.
4: Don’t Assume Anything When assumptions are made, everyone needs to be aware of how they might divide people due to misunderstandings and miscommunication. Validating assumptions can help reduce these divides by ensuring that everyone has the same understanding of what’s being discussed.
5: Be Patient with Them Patience is necessary when validating a person. It is important to be understanding and not rush the process to get the answer you are looking for. Sometimes it can take time for a person to open up about their feelings, so it is important to be patient and allow them the space they need. By being understanding, you can help them feel comfortable opening up and sharing what is going on inside of them.
6: Encourage Them There are a few things that can help co-workers feel better about themselves and reduce their stress levels. First, be sure to remind them to take care of themselves. Second, be supportive and positive. Let your co-workers know that you appreciate their contribution and that you enjoy working with them. Finally, encourage them to ask for help when they need it. There’s nothing more frustrating than being unable to solve a problem on your own.
7: Accept Them as They Are Each person on your team has a unique set of skills and abilities that are valuable to the team. It is important to remember this and accept them where they are. In a growth mindset environment, it is more important to make progress from wherever you start than for everyone to start at the same place.
Conclusion Validating someone’s feelings is a very important part of being supportive and encouraging. By following these steps, you will be able to validate others without invalidating yourself.
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