Aug 3, 2023 02:42:39 PM

Bloatware - in Software and Psyche

Barkha Herman

When I am asked to help out with someone's computer, which I am asked to do many times, the first thing I look at is the task manager. (Note that I am speaking of a Windows PC since I am a PC person). So, why the task manager? Because I can see right away what resources are available and who is using what. Not only that, I can immediately identify bloatware, either kill it (temporarily releasing resource scarcity) or go uninstall it - taking care of it long term. It also gives me insights into the "internal health" of the computer - what's low (memory/disk/bandwidth / CPU) and can be added.

However, the bloatware in a human is not so easily identified or removed. As a coach and a transformational trainer, I see all kinds of "bloatware" mentality. We all walk around with beliefs that are equivalent to mental bloatware.

Let me explain.

I was coaching a group many years ago, and we were talking about doing something. The funny thing is - I don't even remember what the something was. One of the young women in the group, a young Hispanic mother, proclaimed: "I can't do that!". We all looked at her surprised when she looked right at me and said: "You know". Well, I must have slept through that lesson, because indeed I did not know. And I did confront her about it - at which point, perhaps for the first time in her life she looked outside her box and realized, there is absolutely no reason she cannot "do that".

What was stopping her was the belief that Indian or Hispanic women "should" not do <enter your belief here>. This is the bloatware that prevented her many times in her life when she was unaware of how energy and possibility sapping this bloatware - this belief of what she could or could not do.

Just like software bloatware, some of our bloatware beliefs get installed early - from our families. My journey of adulting was a series of shedding a lot of these bloatware beliefs go. I immigrated to the United States to get away from some of my family's bloatware. That I should marry within my community. That I should eat, dress, and act a certain way. Once I started asking - "What is this? and why is this even in my space?" - I started to unravel a lot of these beliefs and I suddenly started feeling lighter, and more efficient. Just like software.

We all carry this kind of bloatware beliefs and thoughts in our psyche all day long. Coaches and Trainers can act as Task Managers to shine a light on individual bloatware. So I invite you to take a few minutes each day and ask - what is running in the background, sapping energy and resources from me? What is my bloatware?

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